Friday, December 28, 2012

Just in FYI, the delivery charge you are paying with your pizza is to recoup lost productivity while the driver is out of the store not doing any work.

Friday, December 21, 2012

For his birthday adventure my youngest wants to go to the library and Rally's. I don't think he even knows what Rally's is.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Monday, July 30, 2012

Some people say their life is a country song. Some people live in a romance novel. I LIVE A FLIPPING SITCOM 24/7!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

On the day I remove my umbrella from my work bag it rains an annoying hot steamy rain.

Friday, July 20, 2012

She can't tell time unless it is in her favor. She can't count unless it is in her favor. She doesn't work unless you tell her to. Basically, she's a union rep.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Slight problem with the house... no power. Surprise emergency sleep over at the in-laws' house (which has air conditioning and power)

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Kids and spelling

Alex: "Ben, do you know what Y-O-U spells?"
Ben: "What?"
Alex: "You. Do you know what HGTV spells? This is funny, Ben...HGTV!"

Friday, July 13, 2012

Happy Vendredi XIII. How are you doing today? So far so good myself!

Friday, July 6, 2012

If you do not want men to stare at your breasts do not put shiny sequins on them. That is all.
I used to love those snarky things with "I live in my own little world but its ok because they know me here" but now people stop me in the halls just to say hi.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Just had a scentless run in with the neighborhood skunk. He is rather small, about kitten sized.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Three days no Rockstar! On a completely unrelated note, I am exhausted.

Monday, June 25, 2012

The coffee machine keeps forgetting to stop making coffee. It begins making a mess after the pot is full.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

My basement bathroom lightswitch has a short. But only in the off position.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

I am currently employed as a drain switch. I am the switch that drains the dishwasher.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

It is a really bad day that starts with a water bug taking a walking tour of your dining area.

Monday, June 11, 2012

The food business is as the food business does. What it is mainly is feeding people and what it does mainly is feed people.

Friday, June 8, 2012

If your boss is bothering you just punch them in the face. Solves all your problems. Makes you feel better and you don't have to worry about your job anymore.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Friday, May 18, 2012

I apologise ahead of time for this horrible joke...
Your mother is so up tight she doesn't fart, she squeeks.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Ok, just finished Mockingjay and I have to warn you... this is the most amazing, depressing, inspiring series I have ever read. I must go hide in a corner now!!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Reading Mockingjay, Hunger Games 3, makes me feel very paranoid and a bit cynical.

Friday, April 20, 2012

I'm sorry but if you are walking around a public mall in nothing but a jacket and a negligee you have no right to complain about "all the mouth breathers."

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Friday, March 30, 2012

When faced with me (a non-smoker) and two people actually smoking, what makes someone ask ME for a light?

Thursday, March 22, 2012

I have been asked at least 3 times this week "Aren't you that (or the) Subway guy?"

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I just witnessed a pigeon attack a seagull in mid air. Its a weird day.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Monday, February 27, 2012

I am the lowest paid supervisor at my job. I am the only supervisor who is not an attractive female. Is there a connection?

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Smoking in the bathroom is one thing. Smoking in the bathroom at church is something else entirely!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Just realized fire hydrants are called that because They are used to hydrate fires.
I somehow forgot I could blog by phone. Sorry about that! Life must have caught up with me!